Top 5: Types of People I Hate Encountering at Disney World
When I travel to Walt Disney World, I tend to block out the rest of my life. My Monday through Friday job, my bills, the terrible neighbor that lives above my condo that makes it sound like he is bowling in his hallway at 2am. When I leave for either Orlando or Anaheim, I leave that all behind. However, when I arrive at my destination and check into my room at one of those wonderfully themed resort hotels, I’m always surprised at the guests I meet. 99% of the guests I see while on vacation at Walt Disney World look like they are having a wonderful time and we rejoice in our vacations where we left behind our lives outside of the park gates. Beyond those folks are the 1% that I see while roaming Walt Disney World and I just can’t stand to be around them. My complete happiness gets interrupted and I have a minor panic attack. This happens at Disneyland too but I feel as though Disneyland is filled with more locals than tourists and these types of guests aren’t as frequently encountered. So what kind of people am I talking about? Here are my top 5 types of people I hate encountering at Disney World.
#5-The “I Memorized Every Line On This Attraction and Need to Repeat Out Loud” People. I’m a seasoned veteran and even though I know a majority of the Ghost Host’s opening speech in the Stretching Room, that doesn’t mean I need to yell it out along with the attraction. I know that I’m not the only one on vacation in that room and there are some people experiencing the Haunted Mansion for the first time. I respect that, but some people just can’t. Any attraction with some type of narration, or even live shows, sometimes get spoiled by these “Repeaters”. For those out there who do this, I don’t fully understand why. Are you trying to impress your friends or the people around you? Is there some sense of joy you get when talking over the narration? Do you wish you were the narrator and are fulfilling some type of roleplay in your mind? I’ve been on the Haunted Mansion dozens of times and hearing you repeat the Stretching Room monologue word for word doesn’t impress me one bit. Sorry.
#4-The “Stopping to Stand in the Middle of the Walkway” People. So you aren’t sure where you are going and need to pull out your trusty park map to check what’s around that you must see before your vacation ends? I understand. Move to the side of the walkway please! In case you didn’t notice, there is a line of traffic behind you that is trying to get to Big Thunder Mountain and having you stopping in the middle of the walkway is blocking us all from getting around you. I’m sorry the 16 of you in the bright red Smith Family Reunion shirts are trying to figure out what you can all agree on for lunch. I really am, but the fact that you are taking up so much of the space all of us are trying to fit into is bothersome. In case you don’t understand, the walkways around the Disney World parks can only fit so many people and on busy days, these walkways get packed, so if someone stops, that means that many of us have to detour or stop along with you which means we are either paying attention and stopping or we aren’t paying attention and will run right into you.
#3-The “Obnoxiously Over-sized Luxury Stroller” People. You drove down to Disney World and made a special stop at Babies ‘R Us to pick up a deluxe stroller that will fit your two children, a backpack, a purse, and all of the Disney merchandise you are thinking of purchasing. Good for you for having the money to buy this type of luxury. The rest of us don’t appreciate your purchase though. You are taking up a good chunk of the walkway going towards Peter Pan’s Flight and you have hit many of us in the ankle with your brand new Cadillac Escalade of a stroller. You also tend to be the one that takes 15 years to get on a bus or the Monorail because you need your whole family to pick up this giant monstrosity to load it onto whatever you are getting on to get to the park. Meanwhile, I have to stand behind you and smile while I think of how I hope a wheel falls off and you have to trash your new stroller sooner rather than later. (Sidenote: If your kid is too big for a stroller, then they should be walking! Don’t try and fit your 5 year old into a stroller because he will mostly like take a nap by 2pm and you want to continue on with your day at the park. You should go back to the hotel at that point and relax until nap time is over.)
#2-The “Excuse Me, I’m Skipping the Line Because My Family Saved Me A Spot” People. Here is the thing, anytime I hear someone say “Excuse Me” while I’m standing in line I let them by, but I hope a giant bodybuilder stops them a few people in front of me and tells them to get to the back of the line like this is Studio 54 in the midst of the Disco Craze. In case you didn’t notice, the reason all of us are just standing here in this ridiculously long maze of a hallway is that we are waiting to get on the same thing you are. Half of your family got in line a half an hour ago and you want to meet up with them. Unfortunately, that doesn’t do anything but upset the rest of us that stood here for that half an hour. Disney has come up with Child Swap methods so that you can ride an attraction and Fastpasses are now simpler than ever so that your whole family can kind of skip the majority of the line in a way that doesn’t make us all want to all go Hulk Hogan on you and hit you in the head with a steel chair. Take advantage of the things Disney has provided and quit it with this “Excuse Me” crap because we all secretly hate you.
#1-The “Unhappy Parents with Kids” People. It’s almost a right of passage in the United States. When you become a parent, you think about that trip to Disney World with your children. This also means that you’ll have to deal with a kid that’s overly-stimulated, overly-sugared, and eventually overly-exhausted. So it’s not surprising that you might reach a point of frustration. That’s being a parent and I see it all the time, not just on vacation. However, I find a parent that doesn’t even want to be at Disney World from time to time and that makes me sad and upset. As an adult, you are the one that should be making the decisions for your child and if you feel like you wouldn’t enjoy a family vacation at Disney World, then you don’t have to fork over your hard earned money to the Mouse. If you are that parent that brings their kid and bears and grins it despite your love for large crowds or amusement park attractions, at least suck it up and look on the bright side. You don’t have to wake up to be at work nor do you have to deal with your nosy neighbors that think you should move out. At least smile for your family photos.
Posted on June 28, 2014, in Articles and tagged #DisneySide, Article, Disney, Disney World, Disneyland, editorial, Fun, Funny, hate, Josh Taylor, List, Mickey Mouse, Modern Mouse Radio, obnoxious, Park, people, strollers, Top, Top 5, walkway, Walt Disney World. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.