Top 5: Morbidly Awesome Ways to Die at Disney World

We are all born into this earth the same way…at least to my knowledge. However, we all pass into the afterlife in different ways. I’m not posting this as a triumpant way to commit suicide because I’ve worked with suicide prevention non-profit groups. I’m not condoning that at all. I am, in some way, condoning the best way to accidentally leave this planet. Whether or not you believe in heaven, hell, limbo, reincarnation, or some place where you float in an abyss while giant fish talk with you about what you’ve learned in life, I can’t help but to think that dying at Disney World would provide a blissful last few moments of life. I’ve had dreams of these moments. Even in my sleep, I sense that feeling of falling and being run over by a Doom Buggy and joining the other 999 haunts at the Haunted Mansion. So, without further ado, here are my morbidly awesome ways to die at Disney World.

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#5-Space Mountain. There are several ways this can go, but they all lead to you falling in the black abyss to the bottom. I’ve never ridden Space Mountain when the lights have accidentally come back on so I’m going with the fact that when either the track collapses or your vehicle jumps off the track, you’ll be in for a really wild ride. Collisions with other tracks or vehicles and not knowing where the bottom lies is what makes this accidental way to go one of the best!

#4-Dinosaur. The Carnotaurus has been a constant fear of mine. I’ve ridden Dinosaur several times over while visiting the Animal Kingdom but everytime that think jumps out, I legitimately scream like a 12 year old boy that recently hit puberty. The Carnotaurus is a massive robotic figure that can move quickly. When it was first imagined, it was pushing the boundaries of animatronics….but what if while jumping out to scare your vehicle full of time traveling Dino rescuers, the Carnotaurus broke off from the area it’s attached to and fell directly onto you. All of your friends and family will have to tell people that you were eaten by a dinosaur and that’s a great way to freaking go.

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#3-Fireworks. So you’ve had a great day at Magic Kingdom/Epcot/Hollywood Studios and you are wrapping up your day by taking in some fireworks. Then, out of nowhere,  a misfire happens and a glowing flame of Chinese made fury comes whirling at you at mach speeds. Upon connecting with your torso, you get taken for a ride only to explode into varying colors and shapes. If this is my way, I hope I go out in that traditional yellow. It just seems classy. Don’t you agree?

#2-Splash Mountain. Have you found your happy place? Does anyone else get mildly skeptical that you fall from a giant hill in a log that doesn’t even have a seat belt. It’s a little sketchy. I think I’ve found my happy place though. The picturesque Splash Mountain is a great spot to go because you are sure to have several tourists with cameras ready to take pictures of that moment that you come flailing out of your log due to the lack of restraints. Finding your happy place could mean falling down into the Briar Patch and watching as you beat your log to the bottom of the track in broad daylight.

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#1-Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. The elevator you board on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror has (in story) taken that plunge before to kill it’s passengers during the golden age of Hollywood. Now it’s your turn to take that very elevator. Well what if that elevator truly did take that plunge, falling from the 13th story of the attraction. You would never know that what was happening wasn’t part of the actual attraction until you were gone. You would simply leave this earth smiling and screaming. In an awesome twist on the attractions own story, you are taken in the same way as it’s beloved characters.

I hope you enjoyed this very different post from me. None of these situations have happened to my knowledge and it’s just a reason for me to have a good time while anticipating my next trip. Leave your thoughts and comments below. If you had to die at Disney World or even Disneyland, how would you want to go?

Josh Taylor
ModernMouseRadio@Yahoo.com
http://www.Twitter.com/ModernMouseJosh
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http://www.ModernMouseRadio.com

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Posted on April 11, 2014, in Articles and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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