Top 5: Disney Characters I Don’t Want To Be On A Boat With

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I have been posting about finally seeing the film Life Of Pi. Truthfully I raved about it all week long to most everyone I know. Not only is it visually stunning, but it’s also a film that made me think. It got me asking about will power, faith, and survival. It also got me thinking about this weeks Top 5. I wanted to somehow connect the film and my list, but how, and what kind of comedy can I get from it? So I thought it would be amusing to think that if I was stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific ocean, who wouldn’t I want to be stuck with. So, here are my Top 5 Disney characters I don’t want to be on a boat with.


5-Iago. One of my favorite characters from Aladdin is Iago. I thought he had some of the best lines of the film and kept it spunky. However, Iago can only be listened to in small doses. (I’d say the same for actor Gilbert Godfried in general.) Not to mention the fact that Iago is really a downer and a loudmouth. That combo is a horrible one, especially if we are going to spend the better part of a year together on a boat thats only 10 feet long. To top it off, even if I got hungry and killed him, the actual meat would be very little and a waste.

4-Donald Duck. I’ll be honest. Donald falls onto this list for all of the same reasons as Iago, but he does have an upside. He is a duck and duck tastes delicious, especially if you’ve been at sea for a while. Sorry Donald, you’d be a downer and you’d probably get annoying, but I think you would make one awesome Dinner. Thanks for taking one for the team compadre.


3-Judge Claude Frollo. What is it that scares me about Frollo? Practically everything! If I ended up on a lifeboat with him I feel like he would stare at me until eventually taking a giant leap and choking me to death. I never understood why Frollo wasn’t seen as a major Disney villain. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of popularity to the Hunchback film or that there are too many villains and he gets lost in the shuffle. Whatever the case may be, he makes my list as the only human I wouldn’t want to be in the boat with.

2-Ursula. I know I’m not a beautiful princess of the sea, but I would think that if I were on a boat with this octo-woman (Not octo-mom, but difference there!) she would take my soul and there would be no escaping her. The ocean is her playground really  and I would be trapped. She is also a trickster so I don’t think she would just take my soul, but she would fool me into giving it to her and then she would kill me. Plus she has henchman eels and I’ve never encountered an eel beyond the ones at the aquarium, but I will admit that they kind of scare me and I would probably go down really easily.

Sher Khan

1-Sher Khan. Like the film Life of Pi, a tiger on board my boat would not be good news. I’m a bit less handyman-ish than Pi was in the film so I think the tiger would kill me within a few minutes of being on board. I wouldn’t stand a chance at trying to kill him at all. If Sher Khan would kill me on a lifeboat, I hope he does it with some pizazz. Maybe even shout out a few English catchphrases too. Maybe he can wear a nice suit like he does in Tale Spin. At least I would feel a bit better about going then and it would make a good news article in the Huffington Post. I’m just saying.

Going through my list, I’ve named several Disney villains….and Donald Duck. Sorry Donald. I could have probably listed a top 20 very easily and this was a lot of fun to write. I hope you enjoyed it. What characters would you not want to be on a lifeboat with? Leave your comments and thoughts and I’ll see you all later.

Josh Taylor


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Posted on March 15, 2013, in Articles and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I think Madame Mim would be a bad choice to be on a lifeboat with. Her black magic could cause much problems at sea.

  2. always had a bit of a crush on frollo. what is the matter with me.

  3. Definitely would not what to deal with Mother Gothel, I think her passive aggressive behavior would cause me to jump overboard, lol! I like the Madam Mim one too, love her!

  4. But Donald Duck is a sailor. Isn’t he the best disney character to have with you on a boat?

    • Not on one of those lifeboats. All you have are oars and the ocean. Donald isn’t a navigator. Plus in later cartoons he was shown as a sailor, but as someone who usually got the crappy cleaning jobs and never really sailed the ship.

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