Top 5: Reasons Pinocchio is Dumber Than Rocks
A few weeks back I took a historical look at the making of Pinocchio and gave my review of the film (You can read that RIGHT HERE!) but ever since I’ve poked fun of one thing, the lack of smarts that Pinocchio the character actually has. Walt Disney and his story men decided to change the character in the book, who was more mischievous and troubled, to a character that basically played “dumb” so that his conscience could play more of a leading role in the film. That’s all great news for the Cricket character, but the whole film I just thoughr how stupid Pinocchio was. Yes I know he is made of wood, but that is now excuse why he has to be so stupid. How stupid is he? Well here are my top 5 reasons Pinocchio is dumber than rocks.
#5-His Nose Growing. When the Blue Fairy comes to chat with Pinocchio after being held hostage by Stromboli, Pinocchio creates lies to make himself look innocent. The funny joke on him is that his nose starts to grow everything he tells a lie. The Blue Fairy continues to let him tell lies, and Pinocchio doesn’t notice that his nose has grown until is almost twice his size. Any normal person would have started asking serious questions if their nose grew more than a few centimeters, but the wooden boy waits until he is almost a freaking tree before starting to wonder what is happening. Why would you let that happen to yourself? At least he is made of wood and the Blue Fairy has magic so it could be shrunken back down or cutoff.
#4-Looking For Monstro. There is a large percentage of ocean on this earth. In fact, water encompasses 80% of the earth. That is a significant amount. So why on earth, without knowing what Monstro looks like, would you go searching for a whale in the ocean? I understand love and family triumphs all, but in a realistic fashion, there is now way Pinocchio would be able to find Monstro unless he looked for days, weeks, maybe even months underwater. Not only that, but when he does find a whale 100 times his size, what would he do? It seems as though the thought process here didn’t even start for Pinocchio, he just did it. Luckily it worked out for him in the long run, but he could have spent his whole life either searching for Monstro or never being able to save his father, fish, and cat from staying within the monster’s belly.
#3-Becoming A Donkey. The infamous transformation scene in the film pushes the envelope of family friendly and starts to becoming quite scary. Like Pinocchio, I too would have been afraid if my friend was turning into a Donkey, but once Lampwick turns into a full blown donkey, he starts destroying the pool hall they are in and kicking everything in sight. Pinocchio, instead of running away, hides behind a chair with no back to it as if that will protect him from the donkey going crazy bananas on the place. Seriously? That’s like being told that if you hide under your desk, it will save you from a nuclear war. I would have been running out of there as quickly as possible and forgetting that the donkey in the room was a friend I had just made, but he was a bad influence anyways so who needs friends like him.
#2-Listening To Honest John. When Geppetto sends Pinocchio off for his first day of school, he is stopped by a stranger. A more detailed description of this stranger is Honest John, a talking fox dressed in rags. Now I too would stop to listen to a talking fox because I’ve never seen one before, but I do remember that my first day of school was exciting and nothing would stop me from going. Instead of listening to his father, he listens to John who tells him he will be a star, but never really explains how. Now, if a talent agent told me that I was going to be a star but couldn’t provide details on how or when, I would think this guy was just trying to scam some money out of me in some way. Instead, Pinocchio just goes along with it, forgets about school, and doesn’t ask any questions. Really?
#1-Listening To Honest John Again. So Honest John leads Pinocchio into a money making scam, he is held prisoner by Stromboli, not paid, and has to escape just to get back home. So naturally, you would never listen to Honest John again right? Not Pinocchio! He is taken advantage of a second time by John and sent off to Pleasure Island. Why would you even give him the chance to talk? I mean, Jiminy should have just let him go at that point because he was hopeless. “Fool me twice, shame on me.” That’s the saying right. Shame on you Pinocchio for acting without thinking of the consequences you’d probably face by listening to Honest John again!
Any other reasons why Pinocchio is dumber than rocks? What do you think of my reasons? Would you change any of them? Leave your thoughts and comments as always.
Posted on March 9, 2013, in Articles and tagged Disney, Film, Funny, Geppetto, History, Honest John, Josh Taylor, Monstro, Pinocchio, Pleasure Island, Review, Silly, Stromboli, Top 5. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.